I gave up on the monthly meme. Mebbe I’ll finish it later. But I needed something to write about today that isn’t crazy-making (there aren’t many things right now today that aren’t crazy-making), and Meg supplied a meme, so here ya’ll go:
1. The phone rings; who don’t you want it to be?
Anyone telling me somebody’s in the hospital.
2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?
About 80% of the time. I make no apologies for the other 20%.
3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener?
I talk quite a bit, but I have a tendency to acquire more information than I offer. Parse that how you will.
4. What was the last compliment that someone gave you?
Hannah called me silly.
5. Do you play the lottery?
Won $10 with my last ticket. Yes, I’m something of a mathematician. Yes, I’m aware (probably more than you can know) exactly how stupid the lottery is.
6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, who would you want with you?
Someone who has their catering truck and satellite phone handy?
7. Do you like to ride horses?
Yes. I’m not good (in terms of overall skill, I don’t practice enough) but I have a knack for letting the animal know I’m in charge. Have no idea when I acquired that ability.
8. Did you ever go to camp as a kid?
Yes. My eardrum exploded in spite of explicit instructions to the camp counselors as to my likelihood of getting an ear infection and how to deal with it.
9. What is your favorite party game?
This is an odd question for me to answer; my idea of “game party” is probably not yours. I’ll go with nostalgia and say “3-man” (hey, I went to college).
10. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was married, would you go for it?
A sexy person who is married is pursuing me regularly. I go for it (after all, we’re married to each other). Oh, you wanted the non-trivial answer? No. Even when I was single. Regardless of how horrible your marriage may be, just kill it before coming after me, please.
11. When was the last time that you lied?
Everybody lies to themselves every day. Better question is, “When’s the last time you caught yourself?” This morning, for me.
12. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you?
Hell, I married a Lutheran. They don’t buy transubstantiation. Hm, wait, neither do I. Let’s rephrase the answer: “It depends upon the set of beliefs”.
13. If you have a S/O, who pursued who? If not, do you like to pursue or be pursued?
This is a complicated question to answer, in practice. Our courtship wasn’t as cut and dried as all that. But when the main critical juncture hit, I suppose you’d say that I was the one that went after her, right dear heart?
14. Use six words to describe yourself.
Engineered, Ineffable, Pithy, Weird, Critical, and Distracted.
15. Name a song that could make you cry?
Songs alone can’t make me cry, it takes something along with. I’ll betray my sister and say Megan’s answer is:
16. Are you pleased with your education?
I CAN HAZ MOAR SMARTZ?
17. How do you feel about gun control?
There are about 309 million people in the U.S. 12,000-14,000 people are murdered in the U.S. every year (about 90% of them with guns). About 40,000 people are killed by automobiles. Also:
- Heart disease: 616,067
- Cancer: 562,875
- Stroke (cerebrovascular diseases): 135,952
- Chronic lower respiratory diseases: 127,924
- Accidents (unintentional injuries): 123,706
- Alzheimer’s disease: 74,632
- Diabetes: 71,382
- Influenza and Pneumonia: 52,717
- Nephritis, nephrotic syndrome, and nephrosis: 46,448
- Septicemia: 34,828
I figure, the question of gun control is largely something that is completely stupid to spend even 30 seconds of your time pondering. Let the individualists buy a gun. Donate your money to the American Heart Association.
18. If your house was on fire, what thing would be the first thing you grabbed?
Assuming people don’t qualify as “things”, I’ll say the backup hard drive.
19. How often do you have a romantic weekend?
Since I can’t peg a number off the top of my head, I’ll say, “I wish it was more often”. Logistics are the limiter, here.
20. Do you think more about the past, present or future?
21. What was the last adult magazine that you have read?
Playboy; I think it was a Harlan Ellison short?
22. What are you told about your eyes?
They’re in my head. Seriously, that’s the last thing someone told me about my eyes (also Hannah).
23. How tall is just right?
For what? If I’m playing basketball, I’m wishing I was 7′. Most other times, that’d be too dang tall. Kitty seems to be the right size whether she’s wearing flats or heels, so I’ll say, “However tall Kitty is at the moment”.
24. Where is your dream house located?
On an island. It’s not a house, it’s a lair.
25. Do you have a secret fetish?
This is not the proper medium to discuss.
26. Have you tried bourbon? If yes, what type?
I don’t easily trust a man who won’t have a drink with me.
27. Have you ever seen a male or female stripper?
Yes. Bachelor parties are typically rather stupid, but culturally traditional. I didn’t have a stripper at mine, but I’ve been to enough of them that the intersection of “bachelor parties I’ve been to” and “bachelor parties with strippers” is not the null set.
28. When was the last time you were at TGI Fridays?
Forever ago. We used to go a lot in college.
29. When was the last time you were at Church?
At Church? Or at Mass?
30. Where was the furthest place you traveled today?
Home-to-work. 2.5 miles.
31. What was your favorite job?
Vacuuming Grandma’s house. She was a good boss.
33. Bud is hosting Thursday Thunks this week. Will you play?
Nope. Don’t know Bud. Not sure where Bud is.
34. Do you look like your mom or dad?
Both. Neither. I dunno, ask Meg? I don’t look like what I think I look like, so it stands to reason I don’t know how much I look like anybody else.
35. Who was the last person that you showered with (it’s okay to leave out the name)?
Too many of these memes are obviously written by single people.