Hi, my name is:
Pat or Patrick
Never in my life have I been:
The one person who can drive me nuts is:
The one? Holy cow, *one*?
Wasn’t like we all think we remember it was.
When I’m nervous:
My children are doing something actually really dangerous.
The last song I listened to was:
Rush’s “Witch Hunt”
If I were to get married right now my best man/maid of honor:
I’m already married. ‘Twas my bruvver.
My hair is:
Getting more gray every day.
When I was 5:
I had the most memorable birthday cake of my life.
I realized that I don’t really want anything anymore, except time.
I should be..:
When I look down I see:
The floor. Duh?
The happiest recent event was:
Can’t remember exactly. I have a happiest moment at least once a day. I have the world’s greatest wife and the world’s greatest children. Even on days when one of them is driving my bonkers, the others lift my heart.
If I were a character on ‘Friends’ I’d be:
I’m not dorky enough to be Ross, and I’m not funny enough to be Chandler. Probably Mr. Geller.
By this time next year:
I will be one year closer to my Ph.D.
My current gripe is:
The world is not a meritocracy. Why are so many idiots adroit at playing interpersonal politics?
I have a hard time understanding:
People who actively try not to learn.
There’s this girl I know that:
Really needs to find herself a good man. I wish I knew more of them.
If I won an award, the first person I would tell would be:
Depends on the award. Probably Kitty, of course, but Megan’s answer is apropos.
Take my advice:
Get a second piece of property, preferably north of California. Everybody I ever knew who was looking forward to retirement when they were 55 and not freaking out about it had two pieces of property. Also, southern latitude geography is going to get warm.
The thing I want to buy:
A house with at least 1500 square feet (1800 would be better), a large backyard, a garage with an attached workspace, solar panels, a big kitchen, and a bathtub I can actually soak in. Oh, and lots of closet space.
If you visited the place I was born:
You’d be surprised how alike it still is, and what’s different.
I plan to visit:
Ireland. And Italy.
If you spent the night at my house:
You’d agree with me on the “thing I want to buy” question.
I’d stop my wedding if:
There was a terrorist attack? Can’t think of much else.
The world could do without:
5,500,000,000 people. Give or take. Not that I’m saying people are bad or that I’m suggesting we go on a crazy killing spree, there’s just way too many of us at the moment.
I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than:
This is a question? I’d rather eat a cockroach than lick it, for crying out loud.
Most recent thing I’ve bought myself:
OK Go’s “Of the Blue Color of the Sky”
Most recent thing someone else bought me:
I can’t recall. Stuff isn’t really going to lodge in my head, for the most part.
My favorite blonde is:
My wife. Yeah, really. She’s HOT.
My favorite brunette is:
Both of my sisters are pretty cool. They tie.
My favorite red head is:
Red hair always makes me look twice. “And her with the freckles and a temper. OOOoh, that red head of hers is no lie.”
My middle name is:
In the morning I:
Drink about a gallon of coffee.
The animals I would like to see flying besides birds are:
I like Megan’s answer – me!
Once, at a bar:
I don’t really have any good bar stories. Plenty of good drinking stories, mind you, I just never wanted to have to get home from a bar while loaded.
Last night I was:
Awakened five times. Different sources each time.
There’s this guy I know who:
Really needs a vacation. A good vacation.
If I was an animal I’d be:
Assuming nonhuman, probably a sea otter. They’re smart and goofy.
A better name for me would be:
Gustav Salamakian (inside joke)
Tomorrow I am:
Going to the dentist, calling the doctor, going to work, emailing a group about a research project, contacting the head of campus security about a neat crisis management project, and probably drinking a beer when I get home. Or four.
Tonight I am:
Hopefully getting more sleep than last night.
My birthday is:
Right smack dab in the middle of the year.