Best. Advertisement Copy. Ever.   3 comments

… STAY ALERT!… TRUST NO ONE!…
… KEEP YOUR LASER HANDY!…

PARANOIA
PARANOIA
PARANOIA

SERVE THE COMPUTER. THE COMPUTER IS YOUR FRIEND!
The Computer wants you to be happy. If you are not happy, you may be
used as reactor shielding.
The Computer is crazy. The Computer is happy. The Computer will help
you become happy. This will drive you crazy.
Being a citizen of Alpha Complex is fun. The Computer says so, and
The Computer is your friend.
Rooting out traitors will make you happy. The Computer tells you so.
Can you doubt The Computer?
Being a Troubleshooter is fun. The Computer tells you so. Of course
The Computer is right.
Troubleshooters get shot at, stabbed, incinerated, stapled, mangled,
poisoned, blown to bits, and occasionally accidentally executed. This
is so much fun that many Troubleshooters go crazy. You will be
working with many Troubleshooters. All of them carry lasers.
Aren’t you glad you have a laser? Won’t this be fun?
There are many traitors in Alpha Complex. There are many happy
citizens in Alpha Complex. Most of the happy citizens are crazy. It
is hard to say which is more dangerous – traitors or happy
citizens. Watch out for both of them.
The life of a Troubleshooter is full of surprises.
Stay alert! Trust no one! Keep your laser handy!

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Posted February 10, 2009 by padraic2112 in humor

3 responses to “Best. Advertisement Copy. Ever.

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  1. I LOVED Paranoia. Just straight up hilarity. Good times, good times.

  2. What? What?

  3. I have a laser…it point a line of light 5 miles out. I’m not supposed to beam it at airplanes or people though…

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