Cowboy Up, Soldier   1 comment

So you’re walking your dog, and you hear a snuffling sound.  You turn around and see a bear.  What do you do?

If you’re most people, you freak out and run.  The bear (assuming it is hungry enough to attack humans, a pretty rare occurrence) chases you down pretty easily and turns you into a people burger.  Tartar, of course.  If the bear isn’t starving (much more likely), it looks quizzically at you and goes back to doing bear things in the woods.

If you’re this guy, you kick the bear in the face.

Now, kicking a bear in the face is probably not the brightest thing to do, should you ever run into a bear.  There’s lots of recommendation lists out there on what to do if you run into a wild animal (check out the National Park Service, for example) and I’m pretty sure that none of them, anywhere, start with, “Antagonize the animal by roundhouse kicking it to the face”.  This normally would result in you getting a nomination for the year’s Darwin Awards.

However, after the bear clubs you to the ground for kicking it in the face… you pick up a stick and beat the bear to death.

If you’re as tough as the frontier legends of Davy Crockett claim he was… which Mr. West can now authoritatively claim… you can pretty much do whatever you want.  You also now have a pretty good line on free beer at the local bar for the rest of your natural life.

Q: “Where does a 900 lb bear sit?”

A: “Not in Jim West’s seat, by gum!”


Posted October 10, 2008 by padraic2112 in noise

One response to “Cowboy Up, Soldier

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  1. Boot to the HEAD! Na. Na. Boot to the Head! Anyone who knows me, knows I would have knocked that bear cold with the first kick. That being said, Mr. West may not have had the benefit of years of training, thus he is allowed to use a stick.

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