Real Science Meets Muh-hahahahaha!   2 comments

Connie-Lynne’s brother Adam just put up a post about a LiveScience article on 10 Ways To Destroy The Earth.

Adam may not have seen this: the ultimate guide to actually destroying the Earth (also by Sam Hughes).  Not some disaster-flick, “Oh, the Earth is will be uninhabitable if this occurs,” version of destroying the Earth. The author defines his terms thusly: by any means necessary, to change the Earth into something other than a planet or a dwarf planet. From the intro:

Destroying the Earth is harder than you may have been led to believe.

You’ve seen the action movies where the bad guy threatens to destroy the Earth. You’ve heard people on the news claiming that the next nuclear war or cutting down rainforests or persisting in releasing hideous quantities of pollution into the atmosphere threatens to end the world.

Fools.

The Earth is built to last. It is a 4,550,000,000-year-old, 5,973,600,000,000,000,000,000-tonne ball of iron. It has taken more devastating asteroid hits in its lifetime than you’ve had hot dinners, and lo, it still orbits merrily. So my first piece of advice to you, dear would-be Earth-destroyer, is: do NOT think this will be easy.

This is not a guide for wusses whose aim is merely to wipe out humanity. I (Sam Hughes) can in no way guarantee the complete extinction of the human race via any of these methods, real or imaginary. Humanity is wily and resourceful, and many of the methods outlined below will take many years to even become available, let alone implement, by which time mankind may well have spread to other planets; indeed, other star systems. If total human genocide is your ultimate goal, you are reading the wrong document. There are far more efficient ways of doing this, many which are available and feasible RIGHT NOW. Nor is this a guide for those wanting to annihilate everything from single-celled life upwards, render Earth uninhabitable or simply conquer it. These are trivial goals in comparison.

This is a guide for those who do not want the Earth to be there anymore.

You can link to the below image to have a graphical representation of the current status of the earth on your web site.

Current Earth-Destruction Status

The site also includes a variety of fascinating links to resources for both the seriously scientifically minded folks and goofy guys who occasionally like to chuckle evilly. My favorite linked site is this one, where someone well versed in physics spends entirely too much time analyzing The Death Star.

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Posted January 30, 2008 by padraic2112 in humor, web sites

2 responses to “Real Science Meets Muh-hahahahaha!

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  1. Carlin did a bit about this…

  2. Pingback: Theme Thursday: Earth « Pat’s Daily Grind

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